Marriage

My foray into the blogosphere has been, at times, intimidating.  In an attempt to become more comfortable with writing to an unknown audience, I have tried to steer clear of controversial subjects.  If I am going to subject myself, or my writing, to debate, I prefer to do so in the academic arena.  However, in light of the Supreme Court’s decision on same-sex marriage, I feel that I need to step out of my comfort zone and speak up — or, allow another priest to speak for me via his blog.  Fr. Joe Jenkins has written a well thought out essay on why the Catholic Church cannot back down on its theological beliefs or principles.  There is very little in what he says that I disagree with.

Although I believe, wholeheartedly, that my church needs to stand her ground on the issue of marriage, I also believe that from a civil perspective, same-sex couples deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness.  Whether or not we believe, as individuals or as a church, that homosexuality is acceptable, it has become accepted by society.  Same-sex attracted couples fall in love and, just like heterosexual couples, they want to commit to a lifetime together.  They want to raise a family, frequently adopting the “unadoptable” children that no one else will give a home to.  To protect the welfare of their families, they want the same legal rights as their heterosexual neighbors and friends and family.  Morally, we must, as a society, acknowledge their right to the same civil legal status as their neighbors.

My thoughts on the subject of civil unions may seem liberal and radical for a priest. Opinions can be changed by life experiences or observations.  Mine have changed over the past few years as I have watched my nephew struggle with his same-sex attraction. Because of his Catholic upbringing, that struggle has been made more difficult because his church does not fully accept him as God created him.  Not everyone is called to a celibate life and by asking ALL same-sex attracted individuals to live celibately, we are asking for the impossible.  For the moment, my nephew is celibate.  He is only 30 years old.  Can I, a celibate priest, ask him to remain celibate for the rest of his life?  All I can do is ask that he try, that he pray about the path in which God wants him to follow.  If he cannot commit to a lifetime of celibacy, I pray that he commits to ONE person.

I do believe that same-sex couples deserve to be protected by all the same legal rights as their heterosexual neighbors.  I do, however, draw the line at marriage. Marriage is sacred, between one man and one woman.  We, as a society, have lost sight of the sanctity of the vows a couple recites before God.  “I will love you, until death do us part,” not “until divorce do us part.”  (Although there are circumstances where divorce is the only recourse for abused women or children.)  While civil law establishes societal standards of conduct, we must also consider the natural law, moral law, and divine revelation.  It is from these fonts of wisdom and grace that Catholics understand that marriage between one man and one woman is a gift to humanity.  The blessings of such a marriage cannot be legislated, litigated, or changed by civil authorities.

Rather than repeat what Fr. Joe has written so eloquently in his blog, I ask that you read it. I also recommend the blog Fr. Joe refers to, written by Monsignor Charles Pope from the Archdiocese of Washington.

May God bless each of His children.  May God bless the married couples, man and woman, who believe in the sanctity and holiness of their vows and their commitment to one another and their children.  May God bless . . . .

Boston Strong

Four weeks ago I was in Ireland, visiting cousins after a blessed Lenten spiritual retreat. Four weeks ago, the United States was, once again, attacked by Muslim terrorists, this time at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, a marathon I have run four times — thrice as an able-bodied runner and once in the wheelchair division.  Four weeks ago, my cousins and I watched in horror as a city very dear to my heart reeled from the attack of innocent bystanders, permanently injuring many and killing a few.  Four weeks ago, I felt terribly helpless, wanting to be in Boston to offer spiritual support and comfort.

• Psalms 46:1 ~~ God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
• Psalms 55:22 ~~ Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
• Psalms 25:1 ~~ In You, Lord my God, I put my trust.

And, so, we came . . . .  After a middle-of-the-night visit from their priest and through the remarkable generosity of a small Irish parish, funds were gathered and an airline ticket was purchased for my cousin, Meghan.  I had an open-ended return ticket to the USA that I had not intended to use until summer, but God was calling me to be in Boston.  Meghan is a retired nurse who worked in the trauma unit of a hospital for many years; my brother, Patrick, is a retired orthopedic surgeon, my sister, Colleen, is a retired pediatrician, and my niece, Michelle, is a nurse; my nephew, John, and I are priests.  With ties to this great city, we descended upon Boston to help where we could.

• Psalms 147:3 ~~ He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.
• Jeremiah 17:14 ~~ Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved; for you are my praise.
• Mark 5:34 ~~ He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
• James 5:14 ~~ Are any among you sick?  They should call for the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord.
• Luke 4:18 ~~ The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.

John was ordained just a year ago and continues to live in Boston, teaching at one of the many colleges that line the historic streets.  Through the gracious hospitality of people he knows, we all had lodging arranged for us.  Each of us has felt extremely blessed to meet the victims of the bombings and their families.  Americans are resilient, Bostonians are resilient, and the spiritual strength of those we met never ceased to amaze me.

• Proverbs 3:5 ~~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.
• John 14:1 ~~ “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God, believe also in me.”

The medical O’Malleys and Donahues remained in Boston for two weeks, volunteering their services where needed.  I remained in Boston for another week where Fr. John and I ministered to the spiritual needs of the injured and their families.  We prayed, we celebrated Mass, we offered the Eucharist and, while blessing those who were in crisis, we felt blessed to be a part of their healing.  Strong.  Boston Strong.

In a city that is predominately Roman Catholic, at a time when people from all walks of life ran towards the bombing victims, priests who were within reach of the wounded and dying were prohibited from approaching them.  Anointing of the Sick is one of seven sacraments in the Catholic church.  It is sacred to us.  For priests to be within reach of those needing and wanting to receive this sacrament, and to be denied the opportunity, is maddening.  For the police — many of whom are Irish Catholic — to barricade priests against entering the crime scene to minister to the dying and injured is unconscionable.  At this writing, the police have not responded to calls from the media as to their reasoning.  Anointing of the Sick at the Boston Marathon

Emotions continue to run high in Boston, mine included.  And, so, while on an airplane, flying home to the West, I nearly lost my priestly pacifism when my seat mate referred to me as an apostate priest who was leading my fellow Catholics down an evil path.  This is not the first time I have been called an apostate priest; most recently, it was a fellow blogger who has nothing kind to say about the Roman Catholic Church or its followers.  However, being confronted in person, on an enclosed airplane, was a first.  While trying to ignore his diatribe, I continued to read my Bible, most specifically the Book of Wisdom which is considered apocryphal by Protestants and is not included in the Protestant Bible.

And, so, I tried to be wise.  I tried to heed the spirit of the Book of Wisdom.  I tried to keep my impish Irish temper in check.  After explaining to my fellow passenger that an already long flight would be made only longer if he continued to criticize my church and me, I asked him to allow me to continue reading the Bible in peace.

• The Wisdom of Solomon 1:11 ~~ Beware then of useless grumbling, and keep your tongue from slander; because no secret word is without result, and a lying mouth destroys the soul.

After a couple of hours of peaceful silence, I opened a discussion with him about the Book of Wisdom.  I explained that, although considered apocryphal by Protestants, it contains much of what is found in the Protestant canon.  It contrasts the lives of the just and the wicked, dramatizing the eschatological destinies of the two groups.  It celebrates the figure of the divine Sophia, or Wisdom.  It uses historical comparison based principally on Exodus 7-14, providing Biblical examples of the righteous and the unrighteous, and demonstrates how the power of the divine wisdom operates in human history.  Knowing that this person believes the Bible to be the inerrant, factually historical, Word of God, not the inerrant, inspired, Word of God, I needed to compare and contrast very carefully.

We discussed the Bible and our interpretations of certain scriptures.  Then, I asked him if he would explain to me why, without knowing me as a person, he thinks of me as an apostate, why he believes the Catholic church is evil in its teachings, and why he thinks it wrong of me to minister to those in Boston who were injured.  I will not relive our conversation here but, suffice it to say, I got an earful.

When he was finished with his diatribe, I explained to him what I had witnessed in Boston — families of those who were murdered, the injured and their families, and witnesses who will forever be affected by the war scene.  I met people from all walks of faith — Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, and some who claimed no particular faith but who still believed in a powerful God.  What I learned from these people is that in the big scheme of the universe, it does not matter to God which faith community we belong, but that we believe in Him and His healing power.

I witnessed people from different faith backgrounds coming together to pray, to offer support, to cry.  I witnessed people from different faith backgrounds giving blood for the victims.  I witnessed people from different faith backgrounds working side-by-side in hospitals to heal the injured.  Not one person gave thought to which denomination another might belong.  During this time of crisis, it did not matter.  I prayed with, not only Catholics, but with Protestants from many different denominations, and Jews.  What mattered to the injured, their families, and the city of Boston, was the benevolent humanity from all walks of faith.

I explained my observations to my seat mate and, yet, it fell on deaf ears.  Rather than praying intercessory prayers, asking God to comfort those who had lost loved ones or asking God to heal those who had been injured, he believed the only prayers he should offer were for their salvation.  Intercessory prayer is simply prayer for other people and, in a sense, everyone is called to be an intercessor as we pray for one another.

• James 5:16 ~~ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
• 1 Timothy 2:1 ~~ First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.
• Ephesians 6:18 ~~  Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.

After a long flight made only longer by our discussion, I knew my seat mate and I would never agree.  I have very close friends who are not of my faith.  We do not always agree, but we respect each other’s beliefs and we try to learn from each other.  I am saddened that this man could not open his heart to loving others as they are, no matter their faith backgrounds.  If we are to ever experience world peace, it will be because we take to heart . . .

• Mark 12: 30-31 ~~ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.

Married Priests???

St. Ignatius of Loyola

I am also a Jesuit.  A Catholic priest.  My vows are sacred and I would never do anything, knowingly, to break those vows.  I love the Catholic Church and what it represents in my life, in the lives of my family, and to the world as a sacred place of worship.  My personal relationship with Jesus began when I was five years old, sick with polio.  Jesus visited my hospital bed and he comforted a scared, sick little boy.  Jesus has walked beside me ever since.I teach.  It is what God has called me to do.  Teach.  I love my job.  I love my students.  I love sharing my passion for historical Christianity with those who have a desire to learn.  I have been a teacher for so long I think I have lost track of the years — high school, elementary school, college.  My present job as professor of religious studies began almost 20 years ago.

The days of polio are long forgotten by those never touched by that horrific disease.  The vaccine became readily available the same month I got sick.  My brothers and sisters were inoculated in their schools; I hadn’t begun school, yet, so I was the “lucky” person to contract polio.  Very few Americans remember the disease, nor do they know of anyone who is a survivor.  Unfortunately, polio remains prevalent in some underdeveloped countries — unlike smallpox, polio has not been completely eradicated from the earth.

As I recovered from that bout of polio so many years ago, I spent a great deal of time with our family priest, who was also a family friend having been a childhood friend of my parents.  Father Mike was permitted to visit me every day in the hospital where he taught me the Rosary and read Bible stories.  After being released from the hospital, I still had months of rehabilitation.  I couldn’t run and play with my siblings and my friends, so I’d hang out with my priest, my friend, my godfather.  I’d been named for Father Mike and, because of polio, we had a very special bond which remained tight until his death at the age of 95.  It was that bond and my friendship with Jesus that led me toward the priesthood.

From the time I was five years old I knew I wanted to serve God and those feelings never wavered.  As I was studying and training, I realized my talents would better serve in a classroom rather than in a parish.  It was Father Mike’s dream that I would come home and become the pastor of “our” parish when he retired.  For two years I tried but I missed the classroom — hence my move to another state where I was hired at a public university.

Jesuit Circuit Rider

After 18 years of teaching at that university, I am taking a semester sabbatical.  I came home to spend time with my family and to enjoy the beauty of my home state.  I have also been filling in for vacationing priests — the past few weeks have been fulfilling and exciting.  At times I have felt like a circuit riding Jesuit of years gone by  — all I needed was a horse, a long black cassock, and a big brimmed hat!

At one of the churches I visited this past week, I had an experience that proved to be more emotional than I expected.  One of the priests I filled in for was vacationing with — his wife.  His wife.  How, do you ask, can a Catholic priest be married?  This particular priest, as with most married priests, comes from a Protestant background, most of them Episcopalian.  Following God’s call, he was first ordained in the United Church of Christ and later in the Episcopal Church.  Because I never met the man, I do not know his reasons for renouncing his Episcopal orders, but I can guess.  The Episcopal Church has become, in the eyes of many, too liberal — ordaining women, ordaining gay priests, acknowledging gay marriage.  I do not know if these are the reasons this particular priest left the Episcopal Church, but it is a good guess.  I have known for quite some time that Episcopalian priests have been given permission by the Holy See to be ordained as Catholic priests.  But, this was the first time it hit me in the face, so to speak.

I live all my vows faithfully — the vow of chastity, the vow of poverty, and the vow of obedience.  Over the past 30 + years, there have been times when I have doubted my human ability to be faithful to my vows.  But, the strength of my devotion to God has always prevailed and, with Jesus standing by my side, I have found the courage to work through my doubts and to remain faithful.  And so, this week, I wondered why it is possible for a former Episcopal priest to be ordained Catholic and bring his wife and children with him?  Why can he be married and I can’t?  Why can he come home after a long day “at the office” to the loving arms of his soul mate and I can’t?  Why?  Why must I suffer through bouts of loneliness when he doesn’t?  I was born Catholic — a cradle Catholic.  I knew when I was a child I wanted to become a priest.  Being as idealistic as any young man entering the priesthood, I wanted to save the world and I knew I could live my vows.  What I did not know is how difficult it is sometimes — to be lonely.  To come home to an empty house.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  I can hear my mom saying, “But, Michael, life isn’t fair.”  Every kid learns that lesson.  Right?  Right.

This, too, shall pass — like all the other times I have wondered about the fairness of the vow of chastity. Priests haven’t always been required to be celibate and, I believe, sometime in the far off future, a liberated Pope will change the “rules” and allow priests to marry.

I know many who are reading this are saying, “Yeah, right, a celibate priest.”  We all know what has been in the media for the past couple of decades.  Please remember how the media plays on the negative.  With all the “bad” priests that have made the news, how many “good” priests have you heard or read about?  Not many, I’d guess.  For the record, the good priests do outnumber the bad ones.

As a dear friend tells me frequently, I will sleep with my angels, and pray they soothe my soul.  God bless each and every person who reads this.  God bless all those who serve Him, whether they be Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or Muslim.  God bless.